The Flights to Italy – Covid madness!

Let’s face it, wearing a mask simply sucks.  We were supposed to wear our masks from the second we got into our Uber for the airport, until the second we got out of our Uber in Italy.

Fortunately it wasn’t quite that bad. To begin with, we went to the United Club in San Francisco before our flight to Frankfurt.  While they had signs posted on the tables, and continuously pushed a recording that you need to wear a mask at all times, even while eating and drinking (in between bites and sips), there was no enforcement.  Quite a few people didn’t wear a mask the entire time they were sitting there, and nobody said a thing.  We opted to drink water continuously and mostly went maskless the hour we were there.  By the way, the Club experience has dipped considerably, and the Polaris lounge in the International Terminal was closed, so the Club that was open was jam packed. Nice Covid planning United!

On our United flight to Frankfurt, they stressed several times that masks must be worn at all times (with the same bullshit about in between bites and sips). The truth was, nobody did this, and I saw no enforcement, so I think they are just stating it over and over (and over) to cover their asses.  After the post-takeoff meal, the lights dimmed, and I took my mask off…and didn’t put it back on until after breakfast was served 8 hours later.  Take that Fauci!

I had flight attendants walk by and never a sideways look.  By the way, I’ve read a lot of reviews of how nasty the flight attendants have been as of late, but the crew on our United flight was super nice and upbeat.

Frankfurt airport is a shithole, no way to polish that turd. It’s dilapidated, ugly, souless and soul crushing….just like a German airport is supposed to be.  We had some free Club passes for United’s “Alliance” partners, so we walked about half a mile underground to get to the Lufthansa Club.  The smell of sewage was lovely.  Fun fact, did you know German sewage smells just like American?  We are one big happy world!

The entrance to the Lufthansa lounge is the first place we were asked for the EU Green Pass.  Fortunately our CDC vax passes worked.  Unfortunately, the person at the counter says “we don’t honor United Club passes in Frankfurt”. Well la di fucking da, aren’t we special!  Why have free passes if you can’t use them?  Yet another reason to hate Frankfurt airport, and we literally walked half a mile through “Irish Spring” scented air to get there.

As easy going as United was regarding masks, Lufthansa was the opposite.  On boarding I was told my cloth mask was “not acceptable“, and they handed me a medical grade mask to wear.  It was awful, seeming purposely uncomfortable, but fortunately I had my own medical mask to use.  I think they must have announced how strict their mask usage policy was 10 times during the 1 hour flight, and the flight attendants were watching like maximum security prison guards on high alert.  It’s hard to imagine how Nazi’s evolved from such pleasant people.

At the airport in Milan, there were guys walking around whispering “taxi….taxi?”, as if they were selling meth.  I presume they aren’t licensed drivers, and after a particularly bad experience in Rome, we won’t ever use one of those again.  Fortunately, Uber exists here, so you can’t get ripped off by your steretypical Italian taxi driver since you know the rate in advance and pay with your credit card.  The experience was excellent, so consider that if you visit MIlan.  I will be posting about Milan shortly!

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